As spring sets in and new movies roll around, there is one in particular to take note of, Scary Movie V. The Scary Movie franchise has grossed over 818 million dollars throughout the last 13 years. After the first movie came out in 2000 and was a huge success more were made eventually leading to the creation of Scary Movie V in 2013. The movie utilizes numerous forms of satire to parody movies such as Mama, the Black Swan, Paranormal Activity, and The Cabin in the Woods.
The movie began with two of the best known actors in the business, Lindsay Lohan and Charlie Sheen- I already knew this was going to be a great movie filled with constant laughs. As the movie continues, they are attacked while in their home by paranormal forces by which Lohan gets possessed and kills Sheen.
I was very confused as to why, only about 15 minutes into the movie, Sheen was already killed off. I knew Sheen was known for his ability to make people laugh as evidenced in his previous role of Two and a Half Men so why kill him off in the beginning? Isn’t this supposed to be a comedy? Being a fan of Sheen, I was quite disappointed. While all this was happening the movie tried to put things in a funny way but it failed terribly. Not one part in the beginning did I find funny.
Following the Sheen’s death, his three kids disappear and an award is announced to whoever can find them. This is where artists Snoop Dogg and Mac Miller step in. The artists and kids cross paths leading to the return of the children. It is then decided that these kids will have to live in a child development research center in which they will be constantly monitored to ensure they are mentally and physically stable. From this point I was just starting to get more and more restless. The movie was not funny in any way and the plot just did not seem to impress me.
After all that, the kids are collected by Sheen’s brother (Dan) and his girlfriend (Jody) played by Simon Rex and Ashley Tisdale and taken to a home plastered with cameras watching their every move. While learning to adjust with the kids, Jody auditions for a ballet performance in which she earns the lead role. This is where they parody the Black Swan. I have not seen the Black Swan before so I could not really make connections to this. The only thing I could connect to was my lack of laughter to this scene. I would say this was the worst part of movie. It was too boring and once again, not funny.
Meanwhile, as the movie continues they learn that they are being terrorized by ‘Mama’ the mother of the three children. The mother is cursed and is trying to sacrifice both herself and her children. This is the parody of the horror movie Mama. I would say this scene was probably the funniest to me. It was supposed to be scary but I could not stop laughing because it was just so bad. This was the scene that made me sit back down and continue to watch the rest of the movie.
In the end, they seek the solution from their psychic friend, Blaine Fulda played by Katt Williams. He turns out to be an imposter and a dream extractor named Dom Kolb who tells them the answer to all their problems is in the cabin in the woods. By this point I was half asleep and did not even know what was happening.
On a scale of 1-5 I would rate this movie a whopping 1.5 out of 5 for its terrible plot line and lack of humor. If you want to see it, it is still in theaters!