This fall, the coed varsity golf team has been shattering records. For the first time in school history, the state championship team comprised more girls than boys. For the coed individual category, Alina Ho is Langley’s first female state champion. Most significantly though, the golf team broke their student turnout record by coercing five spectators to watch the mind-numbing sport.

“I’m so proud of another consecutive golf state championship, first majority female team, and best individual female performance ever,” said golf team member Yaudre Imy. “But what really makes my heart swell is the swarm of fans that came out to watch us compete. I truly felt like a celebrity with all my fans.”

“I don’t know how I got here,” said golf spectator Gary Stodamire. “One second I’m eating a giant pretzel, enjoying myself, and the next second, golf.”

For the future, the golf team is shooting for never before reached stars.

“Next year, I want to extend our state championship streak, but also break our turnout record,” said team captain Golficus Finch. “Some may call me a dreamer, but I’m not the only one”

Due to rostering issues, the golf team may be left with only Finch and Ho for the 2023-24 season. Student services is set to begin golf recruitment programs at retirement homes in January.